home for the holidays?

as the holiday season approaches, this has been a recurring thought and question in my mind. i've never been so far from home for such an extended time. in two days i will have officially been here 3 months-WOAH! that's such a long time. it's the longest i've gone without seeing my family, the longest i've spent living overseas, the longest i've been so far from all that is familiar... 

and yet, i guess after 3 months, it makes sense that this place now feels a lot like home. it's different in just about every way, but this is my new normal. this is the portion the Lord has given me for this season, and in that i take JOY! coming into this year i imagined a pretty constant burden of homesickness--boy has God's grace been abundant as i've only been homesick one day of the past three months. i have honestly come to LOVE LIFE in this place! i love what my days look like, and i wake up each day so assured and content of my purpose. talking with a sweet friend this week i was reminded of what a blessing this is-such contentment is a rare thing in our "grass is always greener" culture. sure there are times i miss being in auburn for football games (side note: WAR EAGLE-my heart might've stopped on that final TD throw), weddings weekends, classrooms full of children, and holiday breaks at home, but all in all i could not be more content with where the Lord has me.

thus it is with this mindset of contentedness that i seek to enter this holiday season. my wise mother told me it will be a choice whether i accept and indulge in the portion the Lord has given me or whether i choose to dwell in what i'm "missing". my prayer is that i will continue to CHOOSE JOY! even though i won't be turkey trotting on thanksgiving or driving through audubon park looking at lights on christmas eve, i am blessed to have a new kind of family in this place, and i will get to make some new holiday memories (and maybe even traditions) with them! 

even though i'm 7,000 miles from what i've always known as "home", i'm excited for the holidays in this new home of mine. i'm excited to try to make green bean casserole using all asian ingredients; i'm excited to watch our boys scrimmage in a 'turkey bowl'; i'm excited to share about these holidays with all my asian friends and get to welcome them into our home for a taste of "america". i read a blog this week that said "thanksgiving always translates to thanks-LIVING". so for now, i'm seeking to live in that thankfulness and let transcendent joy direct my steps!

halloween asian style: despite what our faces may reveal...

we actually really LOVE getting to celebrate together here!

daring to be uncomfortable?

"it is time: we are all done with the drug of comfortable and dare to live the dream of the uncomfortable. it is time: we're all hungry for God--and He is OUTSIDE of our comfort zones. this is what faith is." -anne voskamp.

dreaming of what's uncomfortable? this is rarely my first response. i cling to what is comfortable and fight my hardest to keep it close. i run from the uncomfortable and build walls to keep it out. i like the known, the expected, the safe, the plan...and yet, here in this place i'm realizing that is not usually where the Lord will let us rest. there's not much in the Bible about being comfortable. it talks about sacrificing everything for the sake of the Gospel; it speaks of going to unknown places and awaiting what the Lord might have; it talks about leaps of faith. that little red thread running throughout each page weaves the story of a Savior who surrendered all that was comfortable and took on a life of ultimate discomfort--for our sake. 

if i say i want my life to look more like Jesus, i think i am going to have to give up this 'drug of comfortable' more thoroughly. i sure don't know what that means, and it scares me a bit even to type it. what i'm learning is that in giving up what is comfortable (life at home, family and friends close by, chick-fil-a, my dreamed of 'picket fence' life...), Jesus meets me in the uncomfortable and brings me closer to Himself. He tells me He is enough, and here He shows it to me firsthand. He tells me He is my one true comfort, and i'm finally starting to grasp what that looks like. in my tendency to surround myself with what is comfortable, i also tend to forget about this call to ABIDE. the comfortable lulls me into a sense of self-adequacy, and that is not where i want to land.

so in a place that is severely uncomfortable, i'm asking for more of Jesus. to know more of Him, to trust Him more deeply, to believe Him more wholly. i long for His kingdom come...what would it really mean for it to come on earth as it is in heaven? our purpose is His glory: may the uncomfortable make that goal ever more clear! we are not yet home, so for now, i ask for the uncomfortable.