Still figuring it out…

Confessions, the past two months I was not nearly as good at blogging as I had thought I would be. I thought putting my summer experiences and emotions into words wouldn’t be such a challenge. It turns out I was completely wrong! I struggled to pin-point exactly what I was feeling; I wrestled with how to convey all happenings into a few paragraphs. Alas, I blogged only occasionally. Looking back now I have so much to say and so much I want to have in written form. As it is, I’m still figuring it out. Trying to delve into all God taught me, attempting to sort through each lesson, seeking to realize what it means for me now and how my life will look different. So as I write this, I sit a bit overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by His goodness; overwhelmed by injustice; and overwhelmed by what my response will be.

When I landed back on American soil, I instantly entered into a bit of reverse culture shock. Initially, I couldn’t believe how many white people there were! My second thought was how much I missed Diet Coke. As I found the closest fountain drink stand and ordered the largest size available, I sat and pondered my trip. It was clear that I was stepping back into my life exactly as it had been when I left. Essentially everything is the same; this didn’t sit right with me. After all that I’ve experienced and learned these past two months, how could I go back to life in exactly the same ways? It really wasn’t an option. However, there didn’t seem and still hasn’t been a glaringly obvious answer. So I’m trying to sort through what this summer means for me: in the long run, in the present. How can my life be an overflowing reaction to the goodness that I’ve seen of God amongst the least of these?

While rereading one of my favorite books this week, Crazy Love, this quote stood out to me from good ole Fran Chan, “Something is wrong if our life makes sense to unbelievers”. He repeatedly poses the question of how our life would look different if we removed Jesus from it. It has given me a renewed desire to live for nothing else and let each aspect of my life be characterized by an infatuation with my Savior. He is the only thing of eternal significance in my life, and I should daily make this known!

So as I sit figuring out my response, I know one thing: I want it to line up more with the word than with the world. I want it to be epitomized by a race towards my Father in Heaven. I’m sure I’ll have more to come about random stories or huge life-lessons that this summer taught me, but for now I’m eagerly seeking how to better magnify Him.

The Pearl of Africa

If you know me at all, you probably know I have a slight obsession with pearls. Maybe I should’ve known I’d wind up in Uganda eventually since it is known as “The Pearl of Africa”. This past week I have truly glimpsed why.

Having my parents here along with Sarah and I was such a treat. I would’ve never imagined that I would get to experience Africa with them. We started our week in Kampala, Uganda’s biggest city. Here we saw two of the Watoto Ministries campuses: a baby home and a children’s village. I first heard about Watoto two years ago at Passion. Marilynn Skinner, the woman who started this ministry, spoke with fervor about their mission of caring for orphans. Watoto is home to over 2,000 of these children and their vision is to bring these kiddos up in the traditional Ugandan way. They do not adopt out but raise these kids from birth through age 25. Watoto seeks to provide and supply every need from food and education to a family lifestyle. It was a truly beautiful place to visit that housed an inspiring mission. I was both blessed and encouraged to see the work of Watoto. As we traveled back to the city from the village, discomfort set in as we were repeatedly approached by beggars and unsure of what to do. Christ has called us to feed those that are hungry and clothe those that are naked, but in the long-run, a handout be of no benefit. Hunger will set in again. Clothing will be tattered. I just kept thinking that they need Jesus. Fortunately there are programs established for people living on the streets; our drivers told us it is often a ploy to trick tourists or missionaries to just giving them money. However, it was a tough feeling to reckon with as we drove through the crowded streets and sought to determine our response. Honestly, I’m still working on what that entails…

After spending some time in Kampala, we journeyed north to Murchison Falls. This is a game-park lush with natural beauty. Upon arriving, we were able to see these Falls which house the Nile River. I have not had the opportunity to step foot in many places that are mentioned in the Bible so to be in such a place was truly incredible. How often is this mighty river Nile spoken of within God’s Word? I felt privileged and in awe to be in such a place. After experiencing the falls, we made our way to our lodge. Gosh, talk about being spoiled: it was so nice! From here we were able to take two game drives. We saw hundreds of giraffes, thousands of deer-like creatures, elephants, lions, hippos, warthogs, and so much more. It reminded me that this place, this huge continent of Africa, was specially created by God and holds such majestic beauty. As I sat atop a safari vehicle, next to my sister and mom, with the Nile ahead and the sunset behind, I felt God’s presence overwhelm me. I truly couldn’t believe that it was real life! Here we were, half-way around the world, in a third world country, experiencing such unscathed beauty created by our Lord…it was a moment of wonder for sure!

After our time at Murchison, we traveled back to Jinja (my home away from home for the summer). While here Sarah was our resident tour-guide; she took us to many ministries and places that are living out God’s Word and loving on the least of these. It was a privilege to get to again experience it together as a family. There is so much injustice in this world: why do millions of children live with HIV or malaria or malnutrition? Or worse yet, all three? Why do parents abandon their kiddos? Why is the Church not responding in a greater way? After coming face to face with such atrocities, we repeatedly returned to one question: what will our response be? So for now, I’m here: living with question, pondering what the Lord is calling me to, and enthralled with this Pearl of a country that surrounds me.

The Pearl of Africa

If you know me at all, you probably know I have a slight obsession with pearls. Maybe I should’ve known I’d wind up in Uganda eventually since it is known as “The Pearl of Africa”. This past week I have truly glimpsed why.

Having my parents here along with Sarah and I was such a treat. I would’ve never imagined that I would get to experience Africa with them. We started our week in Kampala, Uganda’s biggest city. Here we saw two of the Watoto Ministries campuses: a baby home and a children’s village. I first heard about Watoto two years ago at Passion. Marilynn Skinner, the woman who started this ministry, spoke with fervor about their mission of caring for orphans. Watoto is home to over 2,000 of these children and their vision is to bring these kiddos up in the traditional Ugandan way. They do not adopt out but raise these kids from birth through age 25. Watoto seeks to provide and supply every need from food and education to a family lifestyle. It was a truly beautiful place to visit that housed an inspiring mission. I was both blessed and encouraged to see the work of Watoto. As we traveled back to the city from the village, discomfort set in as we were repeatedly approached by beggars and unsure of what to do. Christ has called us to feed those that are hungry and clothe those that are naked, but in the long-run, a handout be of no benefit. Hunger will set in again. Clothing will be tattered. I just kept thinking that they need Jesus. Fortunately there are programs established for people living on the streets; our drivers told us it is often a ploy to trick tourists or missionaries to just giving them money. However, it was a tough feeling to reckon with as we drove through the crowded streets and sought to determine our response. Honestly, I’m still working on what that entails…

After spending some time in Kampala, we journeyed north to Murchison Falls. This is a game-park lush with natural beauty. Upon arriving, we were able to see these Falls which house the Nile River. I have not had the opportunity to step foot in many places that are mentioned in the Bible so to be in such a place was truly incredible. How often is this mighty river Nile spoken of within God’s Word? I felt privileged and in awe to be in such a place. After experiencing the falls, we made our way to our lodge. Gosh, talk about being spoiled: it was so nice! From here we were able to take two game drives. We saw hundreds of giraffes, thousands of deer-like creatures, elephants, lions, hippos, warthogs, and so much more. It reminded me that this place, this huge continent of Africa, was specially created by God and holds such majestic beauty. As I sat atop a safari vehicle, next to my sister and mom, with the Nile ahead and the sunset behind, I felt God’s presence overwhelm me. I truly couldn’t believe that it was real life! Here we were, half-way around the world, in a third world country, experiencing such unscathed beauty created by our Lord…it was a moment of wonder for sure!

After our time at Murchison, we traveled back to Jinja (my home away from home for the summer). While here Sarah was our resident tour-guide; she took us to many ministries and places that are living out God’s Word and loving on the least of these. It was a privilege to get to again experience it together as a family. There is so much injustice in this world: why do millions of children live with HIV or malaria or malnutrition? Or worse yet, all three? Why do parents abandon their kiddos? Why is the Church not responding in a greater way? After coming face to face with such atrocities, we repeatedly returned to one question: what will our response be? So for now, I’m here: living with question, pondering what the Lord is calling me to, and enthralled with this Pearl of a country that surrounds me.

Learning Different Is Good...

I am a creature of habit. I love routine. I love knowing what to expect. God is doing big things as He is breaking down these strongholds in my life. He is teaching me to rely on Him. He is teaching me schedule doesn’t matter; that life happens and as long as I’m in communication with Him, it doesn’t really matter how. He is teaching me that although I’m used to things being done a certain way, that way may not be best. He is showing me that different does not mean worse and in fact, different is often good. He is showing me how BIG He is and how small I am. He is God and I am not, and for that I’m so thankful!

Living in Uganda is such an adventure. I have been teaching in schools, loving on orphaned children, and just dwelling in the moment God has for me more than ever. I’m beyond happy to be here and thank the Lord for His precious provision in bringing me here! However, life here isn’t exactly easy for me. I love what I am familiar with and here, that is nothing. The food is different, the customs are different, the transport is different, the expectations are different. Yet God is the same, and in that I rest. His commands are the same. His expectations are the same. He is the same here in Africa as He is in America, praise Jesus! Most importantly, He is enough!

A glimpse into my typical day:

I am living at Ekisa, which is an orphanage for special needs children. Although I’ve spent countless hours in schools and around all sorts of kiddos, never before have I come face-to-face with so many children with such needs. It repeatedly breaks my heart and then encourages me…who am I that I do not have to deal with the challenges these kids face? Who am I that God has placed me here to get to love on them, hold them, and tell them that both Jesus and I love them! Culturally, disabilities are shunned because they simply don’t know how to handle them here. Ekisa opens it’s doors to these kids and shows them love, often for the first time, and is working to unite them with forever families. What a privilege to get to love on, serve, and see Jesus in the face of each of these children. I already want to take a couple home with me…Crayola get ready?!

Immersion into Ugandan schools has been quite the experience. Schedule is a loose term and learning is limited to rote memorization. However, they are so welcoming and absolutely love having a “mzungu” (aka white person) not only there but teaching! The questions the students ask are hilarious and often ridiculous. The concept of coming so far just to experience their education system is foreign to them. Yet both the students and teachers embrace me with open arms to partake however I desire! It’s a new adventure each day. I’m seeing both excellent teachers who truly care about their students and teachers who see their job as merely that rather than a calling. Each day I’m learning how to one day be a better teacher myself. I have loved experiencing something that will soon be my everyday life in a foreign context.

The community God has placed here in Jinja is incredible! What a blessing to get to experience all of this with my precious sister Sarah! It has been a blast this week to get to see what her life here is like and see the phenomenal people the Lord has surrounded her with that now are embracing me for my stint of time here. God is at work in a mighty way here; I’m blessed to glimpse this at least for a short while!

One of my favorite parts about Jinja is the mode of transport: boda-boda’s! These are little motorcycles that everyone uses to get around. I rode a motorcycle for the first time a couple weeks before I left home and was kinda terrified. Now I hop on with a stranger driving me multiple times a day. Every time is a new adventure but such a fun way to travel. If you ever come, get ready to be familiar with these! I’ve even made my very own Boda driver friend named Elidard who I call up anytime I need to leave the house and he delivers me to the schools or to town or anywhere in-between!

As I write this post I am anxiously anticipating the arrival of my parents. I cannot believe we are about to have an African Family Adventure. Watch out world, it really might be ridiculous! I know God has huge plans in store for our time here together and I am praying for how He would affect their hearts. Mommy and Daddy Crane have never been to a third world country…I’m excited to see their hearts broken for this incredible land just as God has broken both Sarah’s and mine. Let the adventure begin…

What giving up mocha really looks like...

Whew, it’s been a whirlwind of activity since I last blogged. In one since, time in Africa seems to stand still: so separated from everything I know and am accustomed to with so much activity crammed into one day. Yet, in another since it seems like a week’s gone by and it’s been an eternity. It has been awesome to see the Lord teach me so much in the two weeks I’ve been here! I’ve learned more about myself, more about His guiding, and more about His heart already. We truly serve an Almighty and All-Powerful God!

Our last week of the Mocha Club trip was spent at a local high school named New Dawn. This school is in a different slum named Huruma. Huruma is nestled inside one of the richest neighborhoods of Nairobi. However, it was described by the locals as “a pit: no one escapes and no one does any better for themselves”. New Dawn has literally transformed this entire community. There is now hope for the hopeless and a future for these people from the pit. Jesus has entered the hearts of the youth and this has made it an entirely new place. On our last day we were able to outfit the entire school with backpacks, water filters, and new Bibles for every student! The director of their school, Ms. Irene, has been praying for this for over a year. What a neat opportunity to be the feet of God directly answering a prayer. Being back at New Dawn four years later allows me to feel a part of God’s bigger story. It’s like I’m getting small glimpses into His incredible plan of life and the story He is carrying us through.

One particular girl captured my heart: her name is Jentricks and she is the assistant Head Girl of the school. She is a Form 2 student aka a sophomore. She walks an hour to school each way, meaning she leaves at 5 AM, well before the sun rises. She excels in her studies and abounds in her thirst for the Lord. She questions the injustices of life but has unwavering faith. Her smile lights up the room. She’s a natural born leader. She has hope for a bright future first and foremost because of Jesus and through his provision of New Dawn and the guidance/care/hope this school brings. I love seeing the impact Mocha Club actually has in these on the ground projects. It is more than reading statistics and spouting off horrifying facts; it’s coming face to face with it, hearing stories and seeing hope. Seeing that sacrificial living is so worth it. Seeing Christ in the midst of it all.

Now I’m in Jinja, Uganda with my sister. The plan was for me to go to South Africa after leaving my Team Mocha, but after feeling not at peace at all with that and pretty homesick, the opportunity for Jinja opened up. I’m praying for the Lord to show me what He has in store for me here and that I can be used mightily for His purpose.

What giving up mocha really looks like...

Whew, it’s been a whirlwind of activity since I last blogged. In one since, time in Africa seems to stand still: so separated from everything I know and am accustomed to with so much activity crammed into one day. Yet, in another since it seems like a week’s gone by and it’s been an eternity. It has been awesome to see the Lord teach me so much in the two weeks I’ve been here! I’ve learned more about myself, more about His guiding, and more about His heart already. We truly serve an Almighty and All-Powerful God!

Our last week of the Mocha Club trip was spent at a local high school named New Dawn. This school is in a different slum named Huruma. Huruma is nestled inside one of the richest neighborhoods of Nairobi. However, it was described by the locals as “a pit: no one escapes and no one does any better for themselves”. New Dawn has literally transformed this entire community. There is now hope for the hopeless and a future for these people from the pit. Jesus has entered the hearts of the youth and this has made it an entirely new place. On our last day we were able to outfit the entire school with backpacks, water filters, and new Bibles for every student! The director of their school, Ms. Irene, has been praying for this for over a year. What a neat opportunity to be the feet of God directly answering a prayer. Being back at New Dawn four years later allows me to feel a part of God’s bigger story. It’s like I’m getting small glimpses into His incredible plan of life and the story He is carrying us through.

One particular girl captured my heart: her name is Jentricks and she is the assistant Head Girl of the school. She is a Form 2 student aka a sophomore. She walks an hour to school each way, meaning she leaves at 5 AM, well before the sun rises. She excels in her studies and abounds in her thirst for the Lord. She questions the injustices of life but has unwavering faith. Her smile lights up the room. She’s a natural born leader. She has hope for a bright future first and foremost because of Jesus and through his provision of New Dawn and the guidance/care/hope this school brings. I love seeing the impact Mocha Club actually has in these on the ground projects. It is more than reading statistics and spouting off horrifying facts; it’s coming face to face with it, hearing stories and seeing hope. Seeing that sacrificial living is so worth it. Seeing Christ in the midst of it all.

Now I’m in Jinja, Uganda with my sister. The plan was for me to go to South Africa after leaving my Team Mocha, but after feeling not at peace at all with that and pretty homesick, the opportunity for Jinja opened up. I’m praying for the Lord to show me what He has in store for me here and that I can be used mightily for His purpose.

This is Kibera.

Sewage filled pathways. Rancid smells that stop you in your tracks. Barefoot babies running amongst this. Burning heaps of trash. Houses the size of my bedroom holding families of 10. Homes made of aluminum and mud. Countless kiddos echoing a chorus of “How are youuu?” as we pass by because it is the only English they know. Children taking care of children. Heartbreak and heartache every moment. This is Kibera.

A wide open dirt field with room to run and play. A colorful jungle-gym for the itty-bitties. Classrooms full of bright young students. Teachers full of wisdom. Teachers so ready to love even when that calls for tough love. Students spending from 6:30 AM to 6 PM in school with such drive to one day attend “university”. Jesus’ light shining forth from every single face. This too is Kibera.

Today we returned to Kibera, the largest slum in East Africa and second largest in the world. Over one million people live in one square mile of land. It is typically portrayed as a hopeless, drug-filled, and terrifying place. However, the side we experienced today held such joy. As we walked the streets, or paths rather, into the very middle of the slum, the images I first referenced were all we saw. My heart continuously broke as I saw more and more faces of desperation. The whole time I was praying and wondering how I reconcile that world with my own; the only difference between me and someone living in Kibera is where I was born…why God? He instilled in me a sense of peace and hope that this is why I am here: to come and see and then go and tell. Just as His word demands. I cannot see and experience what I have and sit idly by. I must share what I have seen…I must make whomever I encounter envision the poverty I was surrounded by today but then, more than anything, see the hope that abounds. When we passed through the gates of Silanga School, everything changed. Within this chaos we had just experienced, here existed an almost utopia-like establishment. It was not significantly nicer than the other places, however it had such clear purpose: to educate the children of Kibera and create the best future possible to every child who passes through their gates with a foundational Biblical education. It was truly incredible! We got to see all aspects of the school: the preschool section, the high school, the Compassion International partnership, and the Childcare Ministry. I of course loved the preschool and was so impressed by the curriculum, which is far ahead of American standards for that age. The precious children were loving all they had the opportunity to learn. The high schoolers were similar as they were filled with such clear determination and drive. Failure isn’t an option; education is the crucial necessity to create and enable a future for themselves. The teachers of Silanga were equally as amazing: they were almost all college-educated professionals who returned to the slum by choice to provide a hope and future for this next generation of children. Hope illuminates their faces. After having the opportunity to see these kids academic lair, we also got to play with them during their break! Some of the “Form 1” aka freshmen girls were double-dutching like nobodies business. They asked me to join them and boy did I try hard to jump my little heart out, but my best efforts didn’t compare! I had such fun attempting though. Silanga held such hope amidst utter poverty; it was an encouraging place to spend the day pouring into these kiddos!

Another aspect of today that brings my heart joy is the difference in Kibera since I was last here four years ago. Walking through then, I was not only shocked by what I saw and completely heartbroken, but I left feeling both helpless and hopeless. There did not appear much promise. Walking through today was a totally new feeling: the sewage was much less, the smell better, the people happier…as Pastor Benson and I discussed the change, he told me, “There is much good coming to Kibera. A new generation is rising up and making it a better place to live for themselves. There is much hope; there is much promise.” Truly, there is hope and promise! Kibera today has come so far in four short years; our God never ceases to amaze me!

A few shout-out moments:

• Bets: in the London airport, I had to run through and the moving sidewalks really helped…of course I thought of you; talk about efficient!
• Kak: there was a 2 story Harrods in the London airport, enough said.
• Bekah: yesterday there was a dance party with the African women, I needed you here!
• La: tonight we ate at a Chinese restaurant in Kenya; turned out better than your Italian Chinese experience!
• Mommy: seeing the plaque of the school you and the FF women had built made me so proud to be your daughter!
• LG and Sas: 3 days, enough said!

The Adventure Truly Begins

Happy day of Independence from Kenya! Today was a “National Holiday”, basically their 4^th of July! There wasn’t too much celebration but there sure was a lot of relaxing and enjoyment to fill the day. Today we traveled to a local park and arboretum. It was one of the most beautiful parks I have ever been to; in the middle of this crazy city are these exotic trees and lush wildlife. We went to celebrate the “HEKO” project which is one of Mocha Club’s HIV/AIDs projects which focuses on prevention, treatment, and counseling. This was a field-day of sorts for the 300 HEKO members that came out to join us. It was a sweet time to truly share life with these men, women, and children. A few stories stuck out above the rest so I’ll share those with y’all!

When we first arrived we were invited to participate in “exercise” with these groups. I was grabbed by one of the women, Jane Akinyi who I soon came to know and love, and asked to lead her group in this time. Next thing I knew, I was leading 30 middle-aged women in any and all exercises I could think of. It was as if Jillian Michaels came to Africa but I was Jillian…talk about a time to laugh! At first I started with basic stretches and jumping jacks but as I found out I had thirty minutes to fill, I ventured into push-ups and bicycle crunches. Laying in the dirt surrounded by hysterical laughter from these beautiful women was something I will probably never forget! They have such zest for life amidst all adversity. Jane later shared her testimony with our group, and I was so challenged by it: she told us she had been diagnosed HIV+ and was in a coma for over 3 months. Her family had pretty much given up hope. She has two children who are now in college and one elementary aged daughter; they would have been left orphans with nowhere to turn. Somehow, it truly sounds like a miracle to me, Jane was revived and given another chance at life. She praises God for this and has chosen to give back by serving as a counselor for HEKO where she helps women in similar situations. Before Jane shared her testimony, no one would have ever guessed her health situation; she was leading worship and just joyful beyond belief. Jane exemplifies what it means to not let circumstance define happiness and the blessing it is to serve those you are surrounded by. She left an impression on my heart and taught me so much more than I could imagine. I hope to one day be like Jane Akinyi.

Another story that captured my heart was that of three young boys. These boys, Eric, Henry, and Luca, were shy at first but soon opened up to us. One of my favorite questions to ask the Kenyan children is what they want to be when they grow up. Their hope and faith is unwavering; they have truly incredible dreams for their lives that both they and I pray become their reality. Eric wants to be a doctor; Henry an engineer; and Luca a pilot. What hope lies in this next generation! They need leaders like these boys will one-day be. Later, they asked me why we were here. I responded because of Jesus. Eric told me, “That is very good. I go to church and love it.” When I asked him why, he thought for a moment and then answered, “Because I love God’s Word and love learning about it.” I thought about it and decided to venture out and ask if he had a favorite verse; without skipping a beat, he quoted Acts 1:8, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you and you will be my people in Jerusalem and in Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the Earth”. What a perfect reminder of why I’m here! All power and strength comes from the Lord; He has demanded and called witnesses and disciples to the ends of the earth. What an opportunity to make His name known and celebrate with fellow believers in this! All praise be to Him.

Travel Woes…

After 52 hours of traveling, I finally arrived to my favorite continent! Never had I imagined it would be such a process and trial just to get here. 24 predicted hours of travel was intimidating enough, but when that time actually more than doubled, I did not even really know what to do with myself! I feel like God was definitely giving me a new lesson in patience and perseverance. I didn’t know I needed a ton of work in these areas, but now I’m thinking differently!

I was overzealous and eager for my 2 o’clock flight out of Nashville, so of course we arrived at the airport at 11:30 AM. Little did I know I wouldn’t leave Nashville til 4:15 (not gonna lie, BNA isn’t the most exciting airport). Although that already caused me to miss my connection to London, I had hope because there were a number of other flights to London out of Chicago that night. I had one more chance to still make my Nairobi connection and if that failed, at least I could spend my extra day in London. Well no, no, no, God had other plans! Because of bad weather in Chicago, instead of going into a gate upon arrival, we sat on the tarmac (aka the windy roads surrounding the airport) for 3.5 hours. So, I watched every one of those London flights taxi by me and then take off without me. Talk about a helpless feeling! Needless to say, by the time I got off that first plane (6 hours later after it was supposed to be an hour flight), I was emotionally drained. I then ran through the airport trying to catch my final option to London only to come about 10 minutes short. So, Chicago for the night. Not too bad, but again the process of hurry up and wait continued. I had to wait for my baggage for an hour and then spent another hour in line reconfiguring my ticket situation. But alas, I was put on the plane for the next day and found myself a hotel room for the night (talk about feeling like a big girl). Monday I made my way back to the airport and had a few hours to kill so became an O’Hare pro. By the time 6 o’clock rolled around I couldn’t be happier to finally be London-bound. It was a good flight that arrived on-time allowing me enough time to catch my Nairobi connection! However, American Airlines had failed to confirm my ticket so I had a scare that I wouldn’t make it again. They got it worked out though, and I made it on the flight! Thank goodness for British Airways having their life more together…finally, I was destined for Africa!! I arrived at 10 PM Kenya time and had to get my Visa and luggage and make it through customs before finally joining my Mocha Club team! Talk about a long day (or days I guess)!

My favorite part of this journey, besides the lessons learned, was the diversity of culture I experienced. From O’Hare to Heathrow, I have never had my life collide with so many people from such different walks of life. From the lines I stood in to the hotel I stayed in and finally back to the waiting at the gate, I became good friends with men and women from England, Israel, Russia, and Kenya. My highlight friend was the bishop of Mombasa, Kenya’s second largest town. Although it was a draining experience, I absolutely loved and am happier than ever to finally be here! Thanks for your prayers…stay tuned for the adventures which await me!

Anxious Anticipation

“You Americans come with your laptop computers, malaria medicine, and little bottles of hand sanitizer and you think you can change the outcome, huh?” Danny Archer, Blood Diamond. If you haven’t seen it, you should. Re-watching this was quite the introduction to my time in Africa… a dramatization of the war within Sierra Leone for diamonds; a dramatization of some of the conflict that still exists in this continent; a dramatization of the story of one American who had hopes that her voice could rock the world. The fore mentioned items are some things I just finished putting on my packing list, along with hopes that not I, but Christ in me might change this world I’m about to enter. However there is still so much unknown that I am about to walk into. So many Americans go with hopes of making an impact; I’m no different. Yet somehow, I feel this call stronger than ever and am thrilled for what lies ahead. I hope that I will not be “That American” but rather be humbled myself so that Christ might work through me.

As my journey looms ever closer, both my excitement and my nerves grow. I am about to spend my summer in Africa: with the opportunity to love the least of these, to pour out of myself like never before, to live exactly as the Word says to; what more could I want? Soon after, these thoughts follow: I am about to spend my summer in Africa: essentially on my own, possibly without running water, perhaps with little communication to anyone else, certainly apart from what I know and am comfortable with. What have I gotten myself into?!

In my mind, I want to see a fairytale: the Africa that I’ve heard about; orphans being loved and Jesus being made famous. This is the Africa I want to be a part of. Yet I know it will probably not be. My parents like to quote a pastor friend of theirs who claims, “There is so much wrong in Africa. And yet, there is so much right.” I know I am about to encounter a lot of right mixed in with a lot of wrong. My innocent, protected, naïve self will have to step up to the plate and evaluate for myself what is right and in line with scripture and what is not. I am just one person and don’t have the power to change a continent, but yet I am one person and do have God with me. He will equip me as He calls me, of this I am confident. So I prepare to embark on what I know will be the summer of a lifetime, with excitement and nerves, with anxious anticipation, with a heart ready to be changed by the God I so dearly love! 7 days and counting…

i had plans, He had purpose.

as summer quickly approaches, i think back on the journey the Lord took me on to get here...it has been so perfectly orchestrated, and what makes it even better is that i had no idea what he was planning for me. my heart is truly overwhelmed. proverbs 19:21 states, "many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the lord's purpose that prevails." this verse has guided me through so many things this year. i love the distinction it makes between the plans of man verses the purposes of the Lord. purpose is so much greater than plan. here's a little glimpse into how my summer came together:

since my freshman year of college, i had dreamed of studying abroad this summer...God dreamed bigger and let my international experience correlate with my heart's greatest passion: african missions. as the fall began and the song "you said" by shane&shane continuously played in my life; God had purpose. God was intentional as the verses pslam 96:3 and 2:8 repeatedly came to mind and left my heart challenged. as i read david platt's radical and was confronted with the opportunity to give away more of myself than i had ever dreamed, God was planting seeds. as my heart swelled to the fact that our God is the God of nations while at Passion 2011, God was tying together my future. as my sister left to spend the year in Uganda, and i longed to go with; God was establishing my own unique path. as the planning of my trip began, i foresaw myself raising support to enable the journey; God had already planned for funding to come from my beloved university through a generous scholarship. as i tried to decide what african country i would end up in, God perfectly guided me to exactly where He wanted: 3 in fact. as i toyed with the idea of going on a mocha club trip, God swung open the door and then invited me deeper. and as i now have a month to go, God is continuing to teach me so much about his perfect plans that have such purpose.

i am about to embark on what i think will be the summer of a lifetime. i will spend two weeks in kenya with the mocha club visiting their various projects. i'm excited to see the actual product of a growing connection between auburn and africa. i will then travel to polokwane, south africa where i will spend five weeks with eagles nest christian school. i will get the opportunity to work with the young school children and assist in both local and international missions efforts.

so here i go...away from everything i know and all that is comfortable to me. here i go...knowing i have so much ahead of me to learn. here i go, with zeal and passion but also unsure of the unknown. here i go...trying to follow the instructions of psalm 96:3 in which the Lord proclaims, "declare my glory among the nations and my marvelous works to all the peoples!" so here i go...seeking to carry His name.

convicted. challenged. changed.

it all points to Jesus. i've just returned from an incredible week at passion 2011 where i got to experience the presence and glory of the Lord like never before. and what i loved most? it wasn't about the speakers (although they were phenomenal in speaking the truth of the Word), it wasn't about the worship leaders (although they glorified the Lord by using their gifts so perfectly), nor was it about an event or a gathering...it was completely about one thing: JESUS!

how quickly do i carry the names of various things forth in my life? and yet, how little is that name Jesus? i'm better at selling the name of Mocha Club or Auburn or sparkle TOMS than i am at selling the name and renown of my savior-Jesus! that is a shame. that must change. i'm overwhelmed at all i learned and experienced. i'm convicted and challenged in the best ways. i'm changed forever.

living without proclaiming the gospel is no longer an option. boldness is a necessity. it's something i'm terrified of, yet something i have total confidence in God for. i can't compete with Jesus for who should be my foundation--it should always be Him! i can't escape all temptation, but i can learn how to curtail it and stop imminent sin before it occurs. i can't continue living in such comfort and separation while so many suffer. i can't keep reading books like "radical" and "crazy love" and still foresee my life as so american-dream-like. i must make changes. my life must reflect something greater. i must carry the one name that matters: JESUS!

one more thing the Lord revealed to me clearer than ever before is that He is truly and fully the God of the NATIONS! i was overwhelmed by this reality a number of times this past week and really the past semester. i'm not sure what this new-found burden on my heart means, but i'm excited to see what the Lord will do! it caused me to realize how much i have limited our limitless creator and how much greater He is than i could ever realize. students in kampala, uganda; paris, france; and throughout china are boldly declaring Jesus as Lord and lifting up His name. He is the God of so many cities and has so much more to do in each place. may we not be blinded by our own worlds but be drastically exposed and collided with these incredible things happening in, through, and for our God!

"yes Lord, walking in the way of your truth, we wait eagerly for you, for your NAME and your RENOWN are the desires of our souls" isaiah 26:8