whew, i've been "home" in america for exactly 2 weeks and what a whirlwind it's been! i've gotten to spend time with my sweet family and dear friends and have been soaking up all things "normal". i'm trying to see this as a month to FILL MY CUP before i head back to a place that often requires pouring out--usually way more than i even think i have to pour!
lately, one song seems to be the soundtrack of my life: "not for a moment" by meredith andrews. a friend shared this song with me a couple months ago, and a day has not gone by since that i haven't listened to it. it does a good job of reminding me where the true fulfillment of my cup must come from. since being home i've been asked a few times "so wait, you're actually still going back?" (i guess my last blog post of life in shambles left some unanswered questions). and indeed, yes, i am going back. because even though this season has been one of confusion, of turmoil, of (can i even say it) suffering...through it all i have clearly known the Lord's presence. the bridge of this song proclaims:
"every step, every breath you are there. every tear, every cry, every prayer. in my hurt, at my worst, when my world falls down--not for a moment will you forsake me. even in the dark, even when it's hard, you will never leave me. after all, you are constant. after all, you are only good. after all, you are sovereign. not for a moment, will you forsake me".
in the past couple months, i was sure my whole world had fallen apart. but now, looking back, i can see evidences of God stripping me of my tendency to look elsewhere for dependence; i see Him making all new ways: paths in the wilderness and streams in the dessert (isaiah 43:18-19); i see my stable foundation that doesn't waver, yet i see Him reworking what i considered to be the "good" on top of that. and the CONSTANT in all of that: i see HIM. not for a moment does He forsake us. not for a moment do i have to doubt. through every tear, every cry, and every prayer He has been with me and as i step forward into the much unknown of the future, He'll be with me still!
last week i had a very "filling" day. as friends gathered to hear stories of my year and the ways i've gotten to see the Lord work, i too could marvel of His intricately great ways! before leaving they prayed over me for what is ahead. two different friends prayed and spoke the words of "exponential multiplication" over me. there are so many aspects of my life that i long to see the Lord grow: relationships, communication, faith, trust, surrender, and so much more. so as i enjoy this season of "filling", i am fervently praying that this would be a year that would multiply exponentially for the sake of the Kingdom. i would love for you to join me in this prayer! because after all, He is only good!
