africa is full of heart...

three years ago i went on a trip that i think will forever help mold my journey. i was blessed to travel to nairobi, kenya and serve in a variety of ways. from playing with children who had never experienced love to building a place of worship for a community that had never enjoyed a place to gather together to praise our awesome God, africa impacted me and forever stole a piece of my heart. at times my heart is overwhelmed by my time there, other times I become numb to the pain and poverty i experienced. the question i continue to ask myself: what is my role? what is my response?

these questions were especially stirring in my heart today because of a dear friend of mine, laurin sanders, who travelled to nairobi this summer with mocha club. her experience parallels mine so closely, it blew my mind a bit. she visited most of the same places, met some of the same people, and felt very similar emotions all along the way. she kept a blog while there that perfectly recounts each day and just hit home in my heart: the highlights, the horrors, and everything in between. it’s a great read: http://laurinms.blogspot.com/.

in her blog she speaks of the dire circumstances but amongst this the undeniable joy of the people. kenyans have more joy than anyone i’ve ever met. despite the fact that they don’t know if or where their next meal will come from or if they will even live to see tomorrow, they thank God for his faithfulness and praise Him with all they have. this is exactly why I returned to the states excited to make a difference. my team was comprised of my very best friends from high school. with passionate hearts we returned, ready to make a difference. it brought tears to my eyes as i read of laurin’s experiences at the Emmanuel School, a product of our passion. our high school came together to raise money for these precious children of kibera, and here it is making a difference and impacting not only these kids, but other americans who will respond in their own way. God is so faithful and certainly works all together for good!

habbakuk 1:5 says, “look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. for I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told.” i believe that God is doing huge things in this land that has captured my heart, and i am waiting expectantly to see as more and more of those play out. i am honored that God allowed me to experience the joy and the lessons of Kenya. i long to go back!

as i gear up for another year at auburn, i’m elated. God so perfectly prepares my heart for exactly where I’ll be. With this renewed passion and vision for this incredible nation, i am excited to continue raising awareness through mocha club. just today i thought about the countless conversations I will be having during the week of rush. instead of letting these be wasted opportunities, i can use these stories to help promote something of eternal value. I continue to pray that the Lord will use me and stir me to His callings. that my selfishness would not get in the way of an opportunity for furthering His kingdom. that instead of establishing my own plans i be obedient to His. that my heart “be amped for the Lord” no matter where i am (as our kanakuk theme song declared). that my heart be burdened for these people who taught me so much. that my life and time in franklin or auburn or wherever i find myself, would be helping promote significant change in kenya :)

relaxation. retreat. radiance.

that is what the lake is to me! relaxation: the place i feel more at ease and carefree than anywhere in the world. retreat: the place that is a sanctuary away from the fast-paced society of which i'm a part. radiance: the place i constantly see God's glory pouring forth: from the hand-painted skies to the perfect flowing currents, His goodness astounds me.

my week departure from real life down to smith lake with my mom served as the perfect transition from kamp-mode to reality. essentially, it was the polar opposite of kamp in that i lazed around, had no schedule, and no one to attend to. it was such a change that i often found myself longing for the kountryside! i would constantly recount details and stories to mom or look at the time and picture what i would be doing at kamp. what a change in such a few days. God's faithfulness continued to appear in His constant meeting with me, his continuous challenges, and His answer to prayers. He is so overwhelmingly magnificent. in the quiet of the lake i could experience God's presence so much. i once again realized the enormous blessings he bestows upon me: from His beauty to my precious family! i have the best parents in the world who love me ridiculously well :) what a perfect place the lake is: eliminating all distraction and displaying God's majesty! i could stay forever.

where wonder began...

"in the chaos, in confusion...i know you're sovereign still" as i sang these words in church this morning, my mind couldn't help but wander back to the kountryside! spending the summer constantly surrounded by kiddos is certainly my momentary definition of chaos. yet it was perfect chaos where God was certainly sovereign and totally dominant. i don't think a place like k-kountry exists anywhere else in the world: a place where you are totally free to be exactly who God created you to be; a place where Jesus rules and satan is banished; a place where a sweaty shirt is prized because it means you're hype enough; a place where giving of yourself means literally pouring out everything you've got so kids might glimpse Jesus more; a place where all things of the world are totally stripped away; a place where relationships of a lifetime are built in a week; a place of complete honesty, complete brokenness, and complete freedom; a place where the entire staff is recklessly abandoned to the will of the Lord. did i really just spend my summer in this place?! it sounds too good to be true.

i hadn't heard of a "moment of wonder" until i reached the kountryside: a moment that takes your breath away and leaves you in awe of what you've just experienced. thinking back on these past two months, i have countless M.O.W's :) from barn 1 love during staff training to riding segways on my last night in branson, a day didn't pass without at least a few of these moments. seeing kids introduced on opening day to a hundred screaming college kids who are being ridiculous so that child feels loved; watching girls hearts break as their "best friend" and favorite puppet bummer has been stolen by evil villains; tucking girls in at night and praying for their families at home and this missing puppet; seeing these same girls do everything they can to defeat those villains and rescue that puppet; watching girls minds be blown as they stare into rachel's eyes as she places them in a tribe; putting on an inflatable tube and fighting kids so they can experience japanese sumo wrestling; jumping up and down for hours to worship the Lord with 200 krazy hype kampers; winning a synchronized bart-ball competition and having girls say it was the highlight of their day; seeing a helicopter land 50 feet in front of me and being just as amazed as my kampers; riding G-Force and laughing harder than anyone...and then comforting the tears it brought; catching crawdads despite my hate of bugs; tubing in water colder than ice; letting 8 year olds do my makeup and hair for a pageant; having those girls tell me "that was the best thing ever" after my pageant performance; having a precious child tell me they want to accept jesus and walking them through this...then getting to walk them to ring the bell and letting them boldly declare it; being sung to and celebrated on my birthday like never before; riding the waterslides 17 times on my birthday and my girls commenting "this has to be the best birthday ever"...they were right; making friends that will be in my wedding; being able to turn to my co and smile because of how amazing it all is; doing all of this because of God's inconceivably great plan and for His eternal glory.

k-kountry was the perfect place for me to spend my summer. it challenged me more than i could imagine: from homesick kampers who cried for 8 days of kamp to girls who couldn't seem to comprehend what kindness meant; from changing wet sheets to cleaning up throw-up; from unending patience to supernatural energy only of the Lord; from knowledge of Him to scripture memorization...God challenged me in huge ways. yet He promises to be faithful and he met these challenges with aide and taught me so much more than i could've ever imagined. on the first night of kamp i wrote that i was expectant of big things because i had experienced them before; i thought my first summer couldn't be surpassed...God did something huge because this summer was even better: i learned more, loved more, was stripped of more, and was more sad to leave than ever before. the kountryside is an incredible place where growth is inevitable and lifelong friendships begin. it's the place that taught me to experience the wonder of what surrounds me: the people, the circumstance, the creation, the lessons, and most importantly the LORD!

"this God--His ways are perfect. the word of the Lord proves true. He is a shield for those who take refuge in Him" ~psalm 18:30