Confessions, the past two months I was not nearly as good at blogging as I had thought I would be. I thought putting my summer experiences and emotions into words wouldn’t be such a challenge. It turns out I was completely wrong! I struggled to pin-point exactly what I was feeling; I wrestled with how to convey all happenings into a few paragraphs. Alas, I blogged only occasionally. Looking back now I have so much to say and so much I want to have in written form. As it is, I’m still figuring it out. Trying to delve into all God taught me, attempting to sort through each lesson, seeking to realize what it means for me now and how my life will look different. So as I write this, I sit a bit overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by His goodness; overwhelmed by injustice; and overwhelmed by what my response will be.
When I landed back on American soil, I instantly entered into a bit of reverse culture shock. Initially, I couldn’t believe how many white people there were! My second thought was how much I missed Diet Coke. As I found the closest fountain drink stand and ordered the largest size available, I sat and pondered my trip. It was clear that I was stepping back into my life exactly as it had been when I left. Essentially everything is the same; this didn’t sit right with me. After all that I’ve experienced and learned these past two months, how could I go back to life in exactly the same ways? It really wasn’t an option. However, there didn’t seem and still hasn’t been a glaringly obvious answer. So I’m trying to sort through what this summer means for me: in the long run, in the present. How can my life be an overflowing reaction to the goodness that I’ve seen of God amongst the least of these?
While rereading one of my favorite books this week, Crazy Love, this quote stood out to me from good ole Fran Chan, “Something is wrong if our life makes sense to unbelievers”. He repeatedly poses the question of how our life would look different if we removed Jesus from it. It has given me a renewed desire to live for nothing else and let each aspect of my life be characterized by an infatuation with my Savior. He is the only thing of eternal significance in my life, and I should daily make this known!
So as I sit figuring out my response, I know one thing: I want it to line up more with the word than with the world. I want it to be epitomized by a race towards my Father in Heaven. I’m sure I’ll have more to come about random stories or huge life-lessons that this summer taught me, but for now I’m eagerly seeking how to better magnify Him.
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